Sunday, December 22Playing God? Playing is for children.




A scavenging nomad digs through the rubble of what was once a home. Under his boot, he feels some give. Digging a bit with grimy hands, he pulls a mud-soaked rag from the debris. It is shaped vaguely like a person, with a single black beady eye staring.

The nomad takes it to his shelter, and dries it; cleans the bear as best he can. He finds new stuffing; sews it back into shape with a bent needle and thread pulled from rags. He pulls a button off an old coat and gives the bear a new eye.

The nomad smiles to see his work. Once, long ago, this was someones best friend. With a little care, and in spite of the scars, the damage, the trauma and abuse…

…it soon will be again.

Available Bears

Hold your cursor over them to read their stories!

So named for his blue eye, as well as his being Lord of the C Street Crosswalk, Protector of Pedestrians, Traffic-Master, and Denter of Automobiles.
After the bombs fell, kids exposed to radiation were given toys like Fallout Fred to boost morale. Marked as radioactive, but after 200 years, Fallout Fred has just recently been declared safe for human contact!
After a tragic housefire claimed the lives of Dr. Wilbrook's family, he sent his son's teddy, in its burned state, back in time as a warning to his past self. Unfortunately, due to the unstable nature of the Wilbrook time-travel technology, the arrival of the bear ended up causing a tragic housefire.
When the post-war raider known as Seadog died, he left behind a treasure stash that some say has never been found. However the most promising of his many false trails led seekers to this bear, which some who knew him say was indeed his most treasured possession.
$100
Even beyond the fall of the bombs, folk heroes and children's story characters like Spangle were devised to act as role models and guardians against whatever threats had become the terror of the time, be they an invading army or mutant abominations.
$125
Out in the Erie flats, the drought has lasted a hundred years now and the lake is long gone. People who live there use fine white mud on their skin to beat back the heat when they cross the salt wastes. It's not known if Crackle was made by these people, or inspired by them.
$50
Created by a gang as the mascot for a new psychadelic drug, invented in the wasteland, and made from diet cola, expired pre-war medication and a drop of radioactive waste. Dr. Pepto was tossed out after supplies ran dry and the gang was destroyed by desperate and angry crowds.


All of the above bears are currently available! If you want to in quire about one, learn more, or give one a home, send me an email to make arrangements.

Bears Out in the World

Hold your cursor over them to read their stories!

Eddy was made and given as a graduation gift for the student of a prestigious post-war agriculture school. The school was flattened that same year, by a stampede of the two-headed mutant cows which were the foundation of their practice.
Caiger Mall was possibly one of the most hightraffic looting targets in the Western US after the war. Yet, somehow, this bear was missed by them all. Sitting in plain sight for over 240 years, Mr. Sidewalk was finally spotted by the 6-year-old son of a scavenger who used the mall for storage.
Teddy once belonged to a conservationist named Emily Thornton. However when the bombs fell, she took shelter in the swamp and was terribly irradiated. The bear was left behind, but after many years in the swamp, it's decay mirrored her own mutations.
Recovered from a rowboat long adrift over the Atlantic. It was believed to have been the vehicle of a sea scavenger, or "salvage specialist." What happened to this person, or where he salvaged this bear, are both unknown. However the condition of the bear suggests it spent a lot of time in the water.
Created as part of a presentation to big oil investors by one Dr. Oswald Herping, as to why his time travel research was "a money idea." "They're absolutely dripping with crude! Big toothy oil factories, I swear it!"
Created as a theoretical mock-up of an idea which came to Professor Donelly Brown in a dream, regarding a plan to clone dinosaurs using bear DNA. His plan was not well received and his tenure revoked. He went on to teach the rest of his career at Socal State Insane Asylum.
Tripp was the mascott for short-lived and ill-fated campaign to rehabilitate tourism in NYC in the years after the great war. "The Last Trip you'll ever need to take!"
Maty is a totem of protection for children in times of great strife and war. She represents the deep inner strength of a parent defending their child from the horrors of the world.
The legend of Courier Six has been passed down for a hundred years in the Mojave wasteland, inspiring adventures, dreams, and childhood companions such as this one.
Unlike many of the Wasteland Bears, this toy canine was believed to have been found it this state long before the war, with the date 10/23/77 scrawled across its body, presaging the very day the bombs would drop 55 years later.
Recovered from a bulletriddled tree-stump at the end of a makeshift shooting-range, This bear has been on the wrong end of a muzzle, and we now hope to find him a less destructive new home.
Brucey The Biter - Found in an abandoned river-side shack amidst numerous croc skulls, skins, and teeth taken as trophies. Whoever made and owned Brucey, it is assumed, was lost to the teeth of the last croc they faced.
Whenever Mad Captain Barker, of the Cutthroat Coast raider gang, disciplined a member of his crew, he'd bring out Scruffy and make this toy the honorary judge in a wacky mock-trial. This ended in the crewmate's execution 100% of the time.
This unlucky (or VERY lucky) rabbit is said to have been both caught in, and rescued from, two completely different house-fires.
This backpack was left outside for years as a secret stash. However, just like a real sloth, 'Daisy became a habitat for algae, moss, and fungus.
Handed down in a family said to be the heirs of a great wasteland hero, Wanderer bears what is believed to be part of that hero's original uniform.
An old mechanic grabbed this bear as a piece of scrap fabric to use when he needed to clean up oil spills in his garage. He eventually traded him, because not only could he not bring himself to use the bear, but he felt bad every time Fleck got dirty.
Created as a prize for the post-war revival of the pre-war childrens' gameshow: "The Biggest Brain". Sweety was meant to be awarded to the winningest child, but after making the first three champions cry, was deemed inappropriate and discarded.
This little bunny Foo Foo was made in honor of the timeless children's song, and also, presumably, as a warning about what happens when one runs out of chances. It is not known, to or from whom, the warning was given.
This bear went on vacation with a family just before the bombs fell. He was abandoned at the resort when the family fled, and has been there ever since, until very recently. He is very tired of vacationing, and would like to go home now.
Swindle was a toy that made many apperances in the training regimen of Reed's Responders, a disaster rescue oriented mercenary company. Whoever could spot the little thief first in the midst of a dangerous drill would win a prize for their a"cute" observational awareness.
This bear was the 9th passed back and forth between the children of a nomadic family who wandered the wasteland together for many years. They made many such bears upon which they would write down messages for each other, jokes, positive support, and useful information to remember.
After the outbreak of the deadly and disturbing "Christmas Pox" in the Oklama region, around the year 2200, Poxie was made as a guide for children to recognize the telltale skin discolorations caused by the disease, which are invisible to adults.
Gangrene Gus was the trophy prize of the ill-fated "Wasteland Tough Guys" competition. To prove their toughness, competitors engaged in dangerous stunts, wrestled mutant animals, and various other questionable ideas. These proved universally fatal, and Gus was never claimed by a winner.
"Timothy Tock, blind as a rock! He can't run and he won't walk! Tim can't play but here he'll stay, and he can be our watch all day!" Rhyme invented by children who found Tim Tock in a ruined toyshop. Their parents got sick of the song and the ticking being stuck in their heads every single day, so he was traded away.
Fabertoof the Cavebear was once the official Ice-Age era mascot of Wild Winston's Prehistory Park. After the Great War, the park became a settlement and popular trading hub, and Fab was adopted and reassigned as the new mascot of the local regulators, along with the motto, "Friendly, but not to be f***ed with."
Found in the treasure hoard of deceased tyrannical caravan boss, Big Vic. It somehow became the centerpiece of a massive card tournament to win the bulk of Big Vic's treasure. The winner was an unexpected stranger who cleaned out every gambler, then vanished laughing. He was never found, only this bear was left behind at his camp.
Reed's Responders was a merc unit focused on disaster rescue. Gerby started as a minor prop in a simulated training scenario where a child refused to be rescued "without her Gerby". The cadets grew to hate Gerby as he made more and more inconvenient appearances in their training. But they always made sure to get him out.
The real Spotacus was a war-cat belonging to the raider boss known as "Graveyard Biggs". He would often force captives to fight his pet in an arena for his own amusement. This toy was commissioned in honor of that cat, after it turned on Biggs one day and ate his face off, sparking an uprising in the camp which freed hundreds and disbanded the gang.
Dr. Oakley was a thinking aid to renowned post-war physicist Dr. Abraham Nettle. Lacking any living colleagues, Dr. Nettle was said to speak aloud to Oakley to work through complex problems and keep himself sane. One day, Nettle announced that aliens were to blame for the nuclear war, so it is unclear how successful Oakley was regarding that second part.
This is just a normal friendly bear to whom you can tell all your secrets. Especially your passwords, security protocols, and launch codes. Just say: "Cameron, here are my secrets!" Don't forget to say "Cameroff" when you're done.
Found in an abandoned lab in which all papers had been burned, names had been scratched out of doors and coffee mugs, and all computer memory cores demolished with a 14-pound lump hammer. The scavvers decided it was best to leave Mr. Yuck in his tank, and not risk exposing whatever awaits within to the outside world.
Looted from a bombed out home, Mission is not only an adorable wasteland companion, but is also a useful package for keeping track of vital information. His pockets a good place to store sensitive codes.
A rather famous bear, by Wasteland standards. Scuffle is more than just a toy that hangs from a belt. It was once instrumental in the downfall of a powerful raider empire. Vital strategic information passed back and forth through hostile territory in Scuffle's secret pocket across his back. Of course he is now so well known that his espionage days are long over.
This bear was rebuilt from scraps, and given as a gift. It is meant to represent a promise of support and friendship; of always having your comrades' back; supporting their weaknesses with your strengths, and trusting that they will support your weaknesses with strengths of their own.
Sam was created as a mascot used in the settlement of Drosswell, Colorado, to teach wasteland orphans about law, safety, and helping them avoid the "uncool" path of raiding and substance abuse. This worked relatively well until he was stolen by raiders. The PSAs continued, but Sam's messages became a little mixed after that.
Flopsy Mopsy is a bear. Flopsy Mopsy is part hare. But that is neither here nor there. Since Flopsy Mopsy is MOSTLY bear.
Found and rescued from a bulletriddled tree-stump outside of a raider camp. This bear serves as a reminder of how one can survive unimaginable cruelty, and even be proud of the scars. Yet the real damage often goes unseen, and may take a bit of help and threadwork to patch up.
This bear was made by students and gifted to renowned scholar and mythology professor: Dr. David Runic, who kept the doors of his university open single handedly for years following the Great War. There he would teach the ancient stories to all who listened, accepting food and water as tuition.
A bastion of postapocalyptic military might, this bear-craft carrier not only carries supplies for survival in numerous pockets and cavities, but can also unleash a small army of smaller wasteland bears.
Mad Larry was a self described "Concept Designer" who had some notions as to how super-mutants could be even more "badass". He made Smashley as a working model to show them with a full presentation. They appreciated his ideas so much that they incorporated him into his own designs.
This bear is a home-made rendition of the mascot, of the same name, of the Happy Mountain Ice-Cream company, a very popular pre-war brand. It was made to resemble the mascot as closely as possible, but failed in that the original mascot was often criticized for provoking nightmares in the children it was marketed to.
This bear was originally found by a group of raiders after their bloody destruction of a refugee camp. The raider who found it was killed by another over possession of the toy. This instigated a cycle of violence surrounding the bear that culminated in the extinction of that gang.
The Lurker; A local legend in the settlements of ruined Seattle; A mutant that watched from storm drains sewer-tunnels. After a series of disappearances, the Lurker was blamed and a posse sent to hunt it down. They never found the mutant, but found and looted this bear from what they presumed was his camp. It has been washed many times since then, to reduce the smell.
This bear was kept by a wise-woman named Old Matta, who lived in a traveling hut around the front range wasteland. It was said that she would ask clients to choose different buttons on the bear, and use those choices to offer them insights and predict their fortunes.
This bear was found by chance in a small hidden shelter built into the rubble of a hospital. The scavver insisted there was no one present and the space did not look recently lived in. Still, he felt watched the entire journey back to the trading post, and was eager to pass this bear on.
The Maw is a natural stone cave found on the Coloradan Front Range, considered haunted by the people in the nearby settlement. When entered, an eerie music box could be heard, from which they always fled. One day, a brave wanderer explored, finding this toy bear, and the skeleton of a child who'd been lost in the cave and long forgotten since before the war. Lula was kept as a guardian for many years after those bones were put to rest.
After the fire rains swept through the settlement of Kickstand, many homes and beloved possessions were lost. One child lost their toy collection, but a clever (if odd) wanderer took the pieces of all her favorites and crafted them into this adorable abomination. She treasured The Boys for years before trading them on to accompany someone else who needs them.
Studly was created as the idol of a post-war heavy metal band called Ferrous Wheel in the early years after the war. They took him on the road as a good luck charm. Sadly, the bear lasted longer than the band, and has had a far more impactful legacy.
This bear was made and kept as a symbolic stand-in for the ritual sacrifices once performed by the One-Eye Gang. The sacriice is seen as a plea for Odin's wisdom, and the runes within are oracles for interpreting the Allfather's advice.
This bear was a minor prop in a haunted house long abandoned since the war. It was eventually found and given to a small child who insisted that he could see the bear's face, but only people who knew the secret could see the face. He never elaborated on the nature of that secret.
This jaguar backpack was kept by a family of survivalist nomads who crossed back and forth across the divide, trading between Monument Valley, the San Rafael Swell, and the Front Range Wastelands. It was traded on after they settled down, but the message on the back is still carved over their door: "HOME IS WHERE YOU ARE"
Man, woman, or child; those who are exposed to the mutagenic FEV are forever changed into a large, green, hyper-violent super-mutant. Rarely does anything of the old personality or memory remain. Yet the finding of this bear in the ruins of a supermutant camp suggests that in some cases there is a vestige of humanity beneath all that rage. Perhaps even the spark of culture.
Discovered in the rubble of a university mythology department, it is not known what twisted mind devised this nightmarish abomination. However, before the world ended, one can assume it made them the centaur of attention.
The small settlement of Taylor's Turnpike was destroyed 2 years ago; entirely consumed by a strange green fungus. Those who managed to flee suggested that this toy bear was the source of the rot, but one young survivor claimed that carrying Molder was the only thing that let him pass through the corruption unscathed.
Queen Elke, the warlord of Zerbrochenstadt claimed that this bear magically kept her young and beautiful in spite of her hard-partying lifestyle. She passed away two weeks after it was stolen, from a myriad of maladies and decades of neglect.
Hochito was recovered from the hide-out of the vigilante known only by his alias: Captain Sacin. The Captain was known for his love of flame-throwers, and his absolute devotion to keeping his community free of raiders and drug-pushers. He died in a blaze of glory; an inferno that wiped out the local raider population and kept others from daring to return to the region for nearly a decade.
After escaping both hackers and a worldwide recall, this H.H. Beargood toy survived the apocalypse in a time capsule. Once opened, B-1000 became the friend and alphabet tutor of many wasteland children. The damage seen was from attempts to attach a new power source after the original was taken to save a dying village. The owner at the time insisted that the sacrifice was B-1000's idea.
Found behind a loose stone in a well by a particularly enterprising scavenger. Leadbottom is a stash-bear; heavy with the currency used in certain parts of the wasteland: Bottle Caps.
Winner of the 2077 Wasteland Dream Pageant. All other contestants were set on fire, except for the runner up, who was thrown into a trash shredder. Congratulations!
Though she lasted as a pristine "teddy-bear" toy well into the post-apocalyptic era, Miss Pretty was severely damaged in a fire, which also destroyed the entire community. She was repaired, as you see her now, but the boy who had owned her rejected the damaged toy as a lost cause... or a painful reminder. He called her Miss Match and traded her away.
In the Greywood Clinic, under an old highway I-70 bridge, the doctor there would make comfort bears for the sick and injured in his care. The clinic has long since been ripped apart by mutants, but bears like Steve still turn up at the traders now and then.
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It is known that some survivor communities who've gone tribal may develop certain superstitious practices such as creating a fetish to ward off some kind of threat. It is not known what kind of horrible mutant or evil spirit Scarebear here was intended to frighten. It is suspected that it didn't work.
This bear was the object of much reverence for a small clan of emgoths living in the sewers beneath Old Cinnatti. Though their religion is strange, they were peaceful people. When the raiders came, they offered up their most valuable prize as tribute. The raiders killed them and took the bear anyway. At least, that's what the raiders told me.
Coppertop was given to the son of a sciencer named Kelvin Lamm. During an attempt to restore the electical grid of New Haven that had gone terribly wrong, Coppertop was used momentarily as a bridge, carrying incredible amounts of electricity. He is of great sentimental value, but it is not recommended to carry him outside during a lightning storm.
This unique bear was looted from an abandoned laboratory, in a holding area filled with other childrens toys. No other sign of what went on in that place remained.
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Used as a trophy, marking the kills of his previous owner. The Tally-bear tradition became popular after the practice of collecting ears was found to be very effecting in transmitting infectious diseases.
Once belonged to the daughter of King Slick, the oil-baron who devastated Soca and Lost Angeles. His daughter, Mabel, ended his reign of terror. This gift from her father, she gave up along with the rest of his empire of blood and oil before wandering to the East, never to be seen again.
A prime example of how traditions in the Wasteland have adapted from the holidays of the old world.
A prime example of how traditions in the Wasteland have adapted from the holidays of the old world.
A charm carried into battle by warriors of the "88": a group of raiders turned wild after generations looting along Highway 88.
"Zhanshi" means warrior or soldier. This bear was found in a bag of loot picked from a battlefield.
Created as a charm of protection for children, this bear was found left behind in an abandoned refugee camp.
Thrown at us by a paranoid scavver we attempted to trade with. Screamed, "EAT THEIR FACES BENNY!" And then fled into a sewer.
Found in a child's bedroom in an abandoned lab, alongside other toys and books. Skeletal remains of scientist was found, but no sign of the child.
Left out under a series of highly acidic rainfalls. Guaranteed clear of dangerous radioactivity!
Sometimes a snowball actually makes it through hell… but it is never going to be quite the same.
Discovered on a recently 'abandoned' farm in which a mercenary company had recently taken up residence.
Found in a seaside shanty. No sign of previous inhabitant.
The bear once accompanied the dreaded road-lord, Rocco the Ringer, hanging from the mirror of every one of his personal death-machines.
A genuine couture designer hand-bear clutch. Perfect for prom!
Symon has a special friend who lives in his skin. Symon's friend tried to take over the world once, but now is content to live in a bear.
Found on an altar in a cave recently inhabited by a particularly vicious tribe of cannibals.
Looted from the tomb of the Warlord known only as The Harvester. Allegedly cursed, but the details were unclear.
Found in a hidden stash in Dogtown during a string of grisly murders. Maker and source unkown. Deaths stopped soon after discovery.
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Won in a card game from a scavver who swore his life had been saved dozens of times by good luck since he got the bear. Found dead later that night.
Traded from tribe in southern 'Rado for six cans of sweet corn and a rusty knife. Said to contain the spirit of a mighty hunter who was killed by a bear. #Ironic #NotsoMighty
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No Story Now. First Bear ever sold!
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